EMOTIONS

           I was dejected: he never even noticed. Life went on for him as it did everyday, in the same rut. I who was once his whole life am now hinging in the periphery.

 I yearned to see him: he never even glanced towards me. Unfazed I waited for him to see the light and return where his love nested. He returned, like fleeting memories, leaving me holding on to thread bare hope.

               Many a hour I spent pondering over my fate: he seemed to have been the answers to all my prayers and today none of my prayers were being heard. We now speak in different languages, one the language of lost love, the other of lost dreams.

 I flare up at the injustice of it all: he flutters away like a zephyr. Being lonely sucks, but feeling lonely sucks more. I'm now torn between waiting for an apology or tendering one...the heart has always ruled the roost here...I give in.

 I become silly again: I know he'll come around. I put up my bestest smile and kick up my in-famous antics. I need to get back into his good books again for I need him more than he can ever imagine or I can ever admit.

I waited with bated breath for the prodigal lover to return: he came but in pieces. A part of him seemed distant,  almost wary of getting too close. I missed him so much, sometimes the pain would just engulf me without a warning and leave me gasping for his love. 

 I tried to seek out love else where: I found them at numerous places. None touched me the way he did. Nobody could make me feel the way he did. I longed for his magical touch, his warm embrace, his smell, his hands in mine. Everything seemed so gloomy, everything so bleak...it was like living in a nightmare, a long distance relationship!!!

 I pondered long and hard: some answers came back, some withheld. Maybe I could have been more giving, maybe a little less dragony. Not all was in my hands, but what if I still haven't given everything I can? If tears come either way, they might as wet his sleeves than stain my pretty face. 

 

I would say a silent prayer everyday: avert the cold war at any cost dear lord....there is only so much I could take. I could feel myself slipping into the abyss and wished he would come rescue me like he always did. He meant hope, he meant life, he was my universe, he was my everything. When did the definition of everything change? How did I let it change?

 

 Endless questions tormented me: I couldn't believe I was this weak. Life has come round a full circle for me, I question my beliefs and actions today. My empty head creates a cacophony that keeps me awake till the wee hours of the day, all spent in endless meandering of the vagabond insane mind.

 

I now look at the world with expectant eyes: hoping I could turn back time. Some wishes will remain only so, it's my decision and only forward I must go. The broken heart was mended once, the magic healer is still around. This time I'll hold him tight, this time I'll make the kiss last forever.

 When the mind was finally at peace, things flowed in and out with ease. I knew I didn't have to be anybody else but me. I couldn't run or hide. I'd just have to be myself once again, the rebellious girl who laughed a lot and whined not.

So here I am: with a promise to keep. I'll smile till the twinkle in my eyes light up the whole room. How then won't you see me, my love?  I'll be the bubbly me, how then will you stay away my love?

I'll remain miffed at you for not understanding me better, but today I understand me better. When I stomp away and you come stomping behind me with the same fervour, I feel like the I'm the most important person in this world. I'm never gonna give that up honey, never!!! 

I'll remain the jinjilu-vinjulu paapu I was; for losing you is not an option anymore. Love, is when I am with you baby, as long as it's with you, however it maybe.

                 

You better come around darling. We weren't meant to be away. You have no idea how much I miss 'US'. I need you with me if not always, I'll settle for almost always; coz when I pout it's only your kiss that counts.

I wanna walk with you over the mountains, I wanna dance with you in the rain....we'll do this and more while we globe trot for now kisses and hugs from me <3 <3 <3.

P.S : I'm going away for the weekend(I'm gonna go wave at the Sri Lankans and come back :P) so full senti- ajeeb-faltoo mood...forgive the randomness here people, just thought that pictures speak a 1000 words and these pictures were just so adorable, I couldn't resist. So long bloggees...talk to ya all on Toosday. Tata