Just yesterday I was telling somebody I haven’t met any guy who is a Capricorn and I think God (who BTW has suddenly taken an interest in me) was within ear shot. Lo behold I got a Mr Arjit on my blog. How he landed here I know not but I was genuinely pleased when I read his comment. Was grinning ear-ear when I read this: Virgin Blogging
It’s strange how we blogger birds (NOT CHICKS!!!) flock together….I was just thinking today that when I wrote mellow, day to day posts, I would get what 4-5 comments max with my avid followers leaving behind their pearls of gyaan and sometimes the brick bats or sexist remarks which are promptly added into the garbage dump. But when I write trash about other trash I read on other blogs I get whoa lot of opinions and a handful of new followers!!! WAH RE DUNIYA!!!
Now I already implicitly follow most of the guidelines the Virgin boy/man/alien/self-proclaimed blogger awards-hater/Swami Arjit-no-anand (ok ok I’ll stop) has mentioned in his latest post, so not much scope but it I’ll still follow Arjit Guruji’s crazy ideas and blabber on.
Pravachan 1….open letter huh?(I'm sure a the end of this you will be inspired for one Guruji) I’ll write an open epic if needed but why in fuck's name will I waste that much precious time on other non precious people!!! But still letter huh? I have a Delhi boy in my life and I haven’t written a letter to him in a looong time and he has become much too complacent owing to that fact. So yep will do one for him soon…Can you believe this? On the previous post, the other bloggers/drifters took it in their stride (muah you guys) but this non-blogging leviathan was giving me a lecture on ‘Freedom of expression!!!'
Pravachan 2…. HOW DARE YOU!!! EDWARD doesn’t need to please me THAT way dude, he is good enough just the way he is OK, LEAVE HIM ALONE? Shut it. I would wanna start an anti-Ducati/Ferrai or anti-Angelina or whatever the hell that you ‘Y’ chromosome bearers hold close to your throbbing full sized, slightly misplaced and deformed, aortic pumps!!! (sorry about the euphemism I think it’s a crime to say ‘men posses a heart’ ;))
Pravachan 3….Alas!!! One of the banal points repeated oft in IBM, inn-fuckin-vation. Imagine a world where everybody could innovate? Would there be names like Galileo, Einstein, Frankenstein, that Zuckerberg guy, falana falana…now don’t give me that shit of invention and innovation are not the same…not everybody has a medulla oblongata with that many convolutions…manufacturing defect!!!
Pravachan 4….Ok..trust me on this…nothing invites hordes like controversies…go against anybody and everybody just for the heck of it, even if you don’t who they are…There is always 70% chance that people will come back and tell you where to drown yourself.
Pravachan 5, Pravachan 11 and Pravachan 13 (all variants of the samething: talk non stop and make partial to no sense…guruji point well established ;))….I’m a die hard feminist for reasons better know only to me. So no prob!!! I think all the rapists in the world should be publicly humiliated and relieved of their vital possessions. I think those men who use acid to prove a point should be stoned to death. I think men are ogres crossed with cockroaches with traces of dodo chromosomes!!! Yep I do.
Pravachan 6 and Pravachan 12….I already did this in the previous 2 posts. I don’t suffer from chronic clinical depression so melancholy doesn’t come pouring out that easily. But I've never spoken about my X have I? I’ve had my fair share of relationships, most ended amiably and amicably. In most cases I’m still friends with the X’s, all baring except one. The one and only !!! Mr Narayan, you might have had 1000 of issues with me, you might have been in love with your X GF(who I now hear is your wife, I wasn’t invited to the wedding of course) when you asked me out, you might have been a gem waiting to be discovered in the shit pot and polished in Ontario, but what you did has earned you a place in hell, for sure. You didn’t have the balls to talk it out and end the relationship, (after 3 days of everybody in college talking about it and incessant tears all this dick mustered is “Pinku you know what happened right?”, it took all my energy not to shove my drafter up his ass but I just walked away), you turned my friends against me, left me all alone in a class of 23 and weren’t even there to help when that whole shit of ORKUT happened…How do you ever sleep peacefully a night I will never know!!!!If I ever meet you again, you will get the deserving and much prolonged slap, I cross my heart!!!
Pravachan 7…..I refuse it on principal…unfunny comics!!! Oxymoron to the core and totally against the essence of me ;)
Pravachan 8…..Now why would I do that? I just found that my creative juices can be corrosive out here and mellifluous on DOV :D
Pravachan 9…..I’m no pro at this…I hardly take any photographs, have the worst cam there ever is and detest being photographed. Chintan wanna help me out here?
Pravachan 10….This needs sometime…I’m already a legend at work. The only person in the world who is branded as not approachable when she was in UK by people who were in India. Yep concept of telecommunication is lost on frigging assholes who ironically enough work in the telecom industry. But I shall return. Holiday on Thus shall be out to good use (evil laughter)
Phew this was fun :D…Guru extraordinaire what more gurudakshina do you need than a whole post dedicated to you and your purportedly famous discourses :P
Tot de volgende kee
P.S. (This is the first ever I have spoken about the X. I’m not proud of even the association with him, my single biggest regret in life was saying a ‘YES’ to that goof ball!!! And Machi before you say hope you feel better, trust me these are not my rants or vents, I will only feel better when I taste sweet retribution!!! And that's 'until next time' in Dutch that I have signed of today with)
P.P.S (I reply back to each comment people, and like a moron sometimes leaves questions also in those replies, if it’s not too much to ask of you please do go back to the replies, who knows I might have just made your day :P)
P.P.P.S (Don’t wanna to put up a disclaimer in 2 consecutive posts, Arjit, but absolutely no malice intend whatsoever…all this attitude emerged from this statement “Keep writing, and we will keep reading” :P)
