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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

CRAZY IDEAS


 
Just yesterday I was telling somebody I haven’t met any guy who is a Capricorn and I think God (who BTW has suddenly taken an interest in me) was within ear shot. Lo behold I got a Mr Arjit on my blog. How he landed here I know not but I was genuinely pleased when I read his comment. Was grinning ear-ear when I read this: Virgin Blogging



It’s strange how we blogger birds (NOT CHICKS!!!) flock together….I was just thinking today that when I wrote mellow, day to day posts, I would get what 4-5 comments max with my avid followers leaving behind their pearls of gyaan and sometimes the brick bats or sexist remarks which are promptly added into the garbage dump. But when I write trash about other trash  I read on other blogs I get whoa lot of opinions and a handful of new followers!!! WAH RE DUNIYA!!!



Now I already implicitly follow most of the guidelines the Virgin boy/man/alien/self-proclaimed blogger awards-hater/Swami Arjit-no-anand (ok ok I’ll stop) has mentioned in his latest post, so not much scope but it I’ll still follow Arjit Guruji’s crazy ideas and blabber on.



Pravachan 1….open letter huh?(I'm sure a the end of this you will be inspired for one Guruji) I’ll write an open epic if needed but why in fuck's name will I waste that much precious time on other non precious people!!! But still letter huh? I have a Delhi boy in my life and I haven’t written a letter to him in a looong time and he has become much too complacent owing to that fact. So yep will do one for him soon…Can you believe this? On the previous post, the other bloggers/drifters took it in their stride (muah you guys) but this non-blogging leviathan was giving me a lecture on ‘Freedom of expression!!!'



Pravachan 2…. HOW DARE YOU!!! EDWARD doesn’t need to please me THAT way dude, he is good enough just the way he is OK, LEAVE HIM ALONE? Shut it. I would wanna start an anti-Ducati/Ferrai or anti-Angelina or whatever the hell that you ‘Y’ chromosome bearers hold close to your throbbing full sized, slightly misplaced and deformed, aortic pumps!!! (sorry about the euphemism I think it’s a crime to say ‘men posses a heart’ ;))  



Pravachan 3….Alas!!! One of the banal points repeated oft in IBM, inn-fuckin-vation. Imagine a world where everybody could innovate? Would there be names like Galileo,  Einstein, Frankenstein, that Zuckerberg guy, falana falana…now don’t give me that shit of invention and innovation are not the same…not everybody has a medulla oblongata  with that many convolutions…manufacturing defect!!!



Pravachan 4….Ok..trust me on this…nothing invites hordes like controversies…go against anybody and everybody just for the heck of it, even if you don’t who they are…There is always 70% chance that people will come back and tell you where to drown yourself.   



Pravachan 5, Pravachan 11 and Pravachan 13 (all variants of the samething: talk non stop and make partial to no sense…guruji point well established ;))….I’m a die hard feminist for reasons better know only to me. So no prob!!! I think all the rapists in the world should be publicly humiliated and relieved of their vital possessions. I think those men who use acid to prove a point should be stoned to death.  I think men are ogres crossed with cockroaches with traces of dodo chromosomes!!! Yep I do.



Pravachan 6 and Pravachan 12….I already did this in the previous 2 posts. I don’t suffer from chronic clinical depression so melancholy doesn’t come pouring out that easily.  But I've never spoken about my X have I? I’ve had my fair share of relationships, most ended amiably and amicably. In most cases I’m still friends with the X’s, all baring except one. The one and only !!! Mr Narayan, you might have had 1000 of issues with me, you might have been in love with your X GF(who I now hear is your wife, I wasn’t invited to the wedding of course) when you asked me out,  you might have been a gem waiting to be discovered in the shit pot and polished in Ontario, but what you did has earned you a place in hell, for sure. You didn’t have the balls to talk it out and end the relationship, (after 3 days of everybody in college talking about it and incessant tears all this dick mustered is “Pinku you know what happened right?”, it took all my energy not to shove my drafter up his ass but I just walked away), you turned my friends against me, left me all alone in a class of 23 and weren’t even there to help when that whole shit of ORKUT happened…How do you ever sleep peacefully a night I will never know!!!!If I ever meet you again, you will get the deserving and much prolonged slap, I cross my heart!!!



Pravachan 7…..I refuse it on principal…unfunny comics!!! Oxymoron to the core and totally against the essence of me ;)



Pravachan 8…..Now why would I do that? I just found that my creative juices can be corrosive out here and mellifluous on DOV :D



Pravachan 9…..I’m no pro at this…I hardly take any photographs, have the worst cam there ever is and detest being photographed. Chintan wanna help me out here?



Pravachan 10….This needs sometime…I’m already a legend at work. The only person in the world who is branded as not approachable when she was in UK by people who were in India.  Yep concept of telecommunication is lost on frigging assholes who ironically enough  work in the telecom industry. But I shall return. Holiday on Thus shall be out to good use (evil laughter)



Phew this was fun :D…Guru extraordinaire  what more gurudakshina do you need than a whole post dedicated to you and your purportedly famous discourses :P



Tot de volgende kee


P.S. (This is the first ever I have spoken about the X. I’m not proud of even the association with him, my single biggest regret in life was saying a ‘YES’ to that goof ball!!! And Machi before you say hope you feel better, trust me these are not my rants or vents, I will only feel better when I taste sweet retribution!!! And that's 'until next time' in Dutch that I have signed of today with)



P.P.S (I reply back to each comment people, and like a moron sometimes leaves questions also in those replies, if it’s not too much to ask of you please do go back to the replies, who knows I might have just made your day :P)



P.P.P.S (Don’t wanna to put up a disclaimer in 2 consecutive posts, Arjit,  but absolutely no malice intend whatsoever…all this attitude emerged from this statement “Keep writing, and we will keep reading” :P)

14 COMMENTS:

PeeVee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PeeVee said...

Dude, I need a mail id...

Atrocious Scribblings said...

Machi, You read my mind with the PS :P and I understand Dutch; which is poorly spoken German, :D. Btw, How's the Italian coming along?

And please dont start an Anti Angelina or Ferrari or Duccati movement, Don't want you Machi, of all people to do something like this.

Cheers :)

Rahul said...

I dunno what you found so offensive about his post.:-D I was LOLing from start to end......Btw,I did notice you didn't comment on his post....maybe I should put a comment linking back to this post of urs...;-)

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

@PV: I'm kinda confused? I'm the dude and you need my ID? If that's the yes then I mailed on DOV to be added on so you being admin might have got that right? If not lemme know, will mail it back.

@Machi: I'm J now...how many languages do ya know...Italian has taken a beating man..nohing zilch...And I don't wanna start any such capaign trust me, apart from no honking campaign but like I said, if people(read men) provoke me then can't help it...It's inbreed in my genes you see.

@Rahul: Only your photshopping skills are good eh? I don't leave comments on all posts but like I said what better way of appreciating than actually putting up a post about the post. and just to clear the air, I actually didn't find anything he said offensive...I've infact written grinning ear-ear remember? Just my take on how to implement this gyaan....I'm sure he will land back here, let's see what he has to say...if he concurs with you then you men are a lost breed!!! Trust me :P

Chintan Gupta said...

:D The little things that people do :P

Once Sub wrote a post and subtly mentioned my name somewhere and I was like, eh? If people are checking, of all the readers, if I am reading the whole para.

And I am here again, being mentioned :P

Yeah dahling, let's meet up when you are in town and I will click you...

I love these purple lipppppsssssss :D

And, why bother about disclaimers hon, it's ok to talk about ex...and i too read virgin's blog...I wonder if he would care to change the name once he has had what they call it? sex? yeah that! :D


#_#
Chintu Singh

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

@Chints: Thanks for dropping by...I was meant to come in Nov, not sure if it's gonna happen but maybe in Feb. Why wouldn't I mention you, I love your straight 'in the face' style and I abs dig the pics you take :D...

Arjit I doubt you'll change the name even after having some quality sex what do you say :P...Dude if you don land here soon no point of me glorifying your post you know!!!

Arjit Srivastava said...

*Firstly, I want to clear all vibe surrounding this. No, I am not offended by your post. Yes, I was away for a while. Yes, I loved your post. Yes, yes, Capricorn, meh, meh. You? And I landed on your blog via Red Handed’s post, I think, though I am not really sure about it.

*Kasam se, ye duniya sach mein ajeeb hai. You know, when I used to write for a friend of mine on her blog, the genuine heartfelt honest posts, no one cared, no one gave a damn, and the comments? Well, expecting them, then, was just not happening. And when I started writing teash about trash via trash, well, I have 325 followers, now.  Arjit-o-anand? Gulp. This is taking it too far, trust me.

*Sure, no retarded Edward jokes. I swear!

*But, then again, the objective was to have people around, the point being you don’t need to give a damn, even if they want you to drown, right?

*“Talk non-stop and make partial to no sense.” Sums up almost everything, actually.

*Bloody, hell. Murder Mr. Narayanan, once and for all, and may his soul, and his arse rest in peace. And be whatever, those funny bitching posts are always fun to read, and the best part? People seem to give so much damn about it. :p

*No, you need to try out the #8 one, when you think people are no more bothered by your presence, leave, and come back, again. And they will start giving a damn to you, again, for a while.

*For #10? Evil laughter, indeed. :P

*Madam, aur guru dakshina nahin chahiye, aap dhanya hain. Vardaan, vardaan ka koi scene ho, to wo bhi bata do.

Just to end it properly, TheDragonGirl, please, please, please… keep writing, and we will certainly, for sure, honestly, deeply, truly, madly, without reason, for no reason, with reason, in spite of hating you, your popularity, your love for your ex, your love for multiple languages, your love for Twilight, your hatred for clicking and being clicked, we will… (Ha!) – KEEP READING!

And no, I won't even change the name to something else, even after that, what they call it? Sex. Because, as I'd thought of putting it up, the term "Virgin" was used, 'cause... to hell with virgin, you don't care. And I don't care, too. As long as I get visitors, commenter, and followers, right?

Arjit Srivastava said...

Also, on a serious note, purple on back? Er. :| And you know, if you write your posts properly, I mean frame it nicely, avoid all these little typos you make, pick up a much user friendly template, maybe, and avoid these quickie grammatical mistakes, your posts will surely be 100% more of what they are, now. You are up for it. 11 followers now? In some time, the number is going to be squared. KEEP WRITING, PLEASE! :P

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

@Guruji: Tahnks for finally coming by. I just din wanna move on to the next post without setlling the air you see. Rahul I told ya, it was in jest :D...No vardan and all needed but up for the crazy ideas, I've got to make Oct interesting or I'll shoot myself. The goat in 'The DRAGON in the skin of the goat' is for Capri sign da (I thought it was obvious :'(...)..You hate me? Why oh why ? About the X..he happened 10 years ago, no love remaining whatsoever, just that I have some unfinished business and I hate leaving things that way. You know after the last few posts the views have gone up yes, but followers remain the same (you are yet to join that list BTW!!!)..trash/no trash networking is the key.

Rahul said...

2 mini-blog sized comments????????!!!!!I'm starting to like this guy more and more!!!!!;-)

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

@Rahul: I'll kiil you, I swear!!! on my blog you blow the trumpet only about me...BTW I can't wait to read what happens with Rohit.

PeeVee said...

Ping... Mail for you!:)
Get a shoutbox so I don't have to spam your comments box:P

Viya ;) said...

omg!!! the only thing i could think of when i saw revenge was 'axe ur ex' ... i know its a crappy reality show! and i'm soooo sorry for not stopping by earlier.. :|
i really have never had an X.. so i dunno how to handle it man :(
Hope things are better now...

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