Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Here a jam, there a jam, everywhere a jam jam!!!

Stuck in a massive traffic jam today; several arbid thoughts crossed my mind…

  • People in Bangalore have no road sense but have a LOT of road rage
  • The traffic cops here are idiots. They try their best but still some habits die hard
  • Everybody is always in a hurry out here
  • There are no roads left in Bangalore, heaps of semi-organized sludge is only make do…I think we are going back to our roots where once there were only villages and cities were yet to come to be…I wouldn’t mind that if the trees were still around, but only high rise buildings in a village isn't really the idyllic picture I'm looking for
  • If there is a girl behind the wheel and she is anywhere close to a jam, then she and only she is solely responsible for this public nuisance…never mind that we are an educated society into the 64th year of our independence!!!
  • It’s a sin for a girl to drive a vehicle. I wasn’t driving today but I saw a girl trying to manipulate a sharp turn and she did take sometime, but she wasn’t the reason for the traffic pile up ahead of her; she was only being cautious. But no the whole world: read MEN, got behind her with classy slangs and denigrating remarks…I almost punched an auto-driver for the this: “hudugi kayealli gaadi kotare ide gati” (translates to ‘it’s expected if you let a girl drive a vehicle’)…I hate-detest-abhor-loathe it when people do that…Classic MCPs
  • Patience is a virtue lost on the city dwellers…every second is accounted for and people rush through life as though they have only millis of them left. I wonder what such people do with all these saved seconds? Hatch them into dodos?
  • People can’t enjoy the music or the good company with them. They have to break their already rotten head over missed meetings and good for nothing tasks. What is the point of living a life like this, may I ask?
  • Street urchins love jams…they run around in glee amongst stalled cars and make faces at bikers, literally mocking the deluded-self-professed-successful people at the their lack of mobility
  • You might own a Merc E class or you might own a Tata Nano, a traffic jam shows you who exactly you are: A raving maniac bellowing your lungs out at even the fly in front of you
  • Have you noticed apart from the street hawkers the numbers of which other class have increased? Yep the chucks (forgive the language, couldn't be subtle today)!!! I'm bound to believe that their prayers actually work; every time there is jam that many more people can be harassed!!! 
  • We can learn so many things from buffaloes. They don't give a dam. They will walk across the signal right in the middle of a jam as though it's a meadow filled with tulips. They will crap, eat, pee, socialize their own pace...not a care in the world...Imagine if the homo-sapein jaati learnt to imbibe this attitude!
  • The omnipresent thing in any jam, actually this is nothing to do with jams…the educated society makes a mockery of itself when it does this: HONK HONK HONK…If you listen carefully (that’s if your ear drums have not been torn apart yet) you can hear that these morons are actually trying to hum the song ‘I’m an A-grade asshole’!!! 


Viya ;) said...

Oh man! don't even get me started on this menace!! :| For a college which is hardly 5 mins drive, it takes me 20 mins!... Annnd to add to that is the Metro work! uuggh!! There are absolutely no footpaths now! ( and that's one of the reasons i started riding my bike to college! ).. and i dunno why these morons start the "road maintainence" work only during the monsoon!! Man!! Its sooo bloody irritating when these 'other' drivers take you for granted just because you're a girl!.. uggh!!
Andd the best advice my dad ever gave me was, never ever ride behind a bus or an auto! Loser maniacs!! ..

and everyday while i'm riding to college i keep thinking i should post a traffic post on my blog but i've just not been able to do that.. and i feel so much better after reading and sharing pretty much the same thing about the Bangalore traffic!..

dhanraj said...


CookieCrumbsInc. said...

I swear to God if one more person says anything about girls driving, I'll punch their faces into Not-so-Minute-Maid pulpy orange. Then come bail me out, won't you?:)

The DRAGON in the skin of a goat ;-p said...

@Viya: I was gonna shoo you away for cribbing about a 20 min drive as opposed to me 2 hour one, but then I remembered I've grown up and need to consider the porblems of others as problems too :-p...I don't mind the swearing and even the's easy to ignore them after sometime with good music...but the horns....ARGGGGGGGGGGGHHH...they just get to me...I'm always in a foul mood after the noisy roads...I'm soon gonna start a campaign :'Kick the bastards to honk''ll join me right?

@PV: I guess we'll need somebody else to bail both of us out..even I'll be there cause the world has more MCPs than girl willing to crush their nuts!!! And if we are going down might as well take all darlings with us, we can start our own mini-prison diary series there:D What say?

Viya ;) said...

I got the "addeke hudugirge gaadi kodbaardu" dialogue from an auto driver and i shouted back at him for coming sooo close to my bike and yelled "loser loafer" and he was like " i know EEnglis mydam!" and luckily the signal turned green...

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