Laugh out loud!!!

I've been kinda low for the past few days...you know the whole cycle of randon stalking online, vacant expressions, not interested in anything in particular, insomnia and worst of all: LOSS OF APPETITE :'( ... I'm not sure what it is but it probably started from 6 p.m. last Sunday and refuses to go away...

I've always been a person who speaks her mind, been binary in many ways, I either like something or I don't and that might be to varying degrees yes, but I don't take the middle ground...I've had many people tell me only the careful and diplomatic surge further, but I've always maintained that if I change so much for every Tom, Dick and Harry I won't remember myself  tomorrow and I'm my most favourite person..how can I forget me ;-)...                                                                                                                                       

I've always done only those things that I enjoy..I've enjoyed my job as well till June...Work-life lately has been way too much work with hardly any scope for life...yesterday when I stumbled back home at 9 :30 I had no energy to even change...Social life is zilch for a few weeks now...In the mornings I've lost the urge to even deck up (more sobs)...the rationale being, if I anyways need to sit behind the lappy for 12 hours he who-hath no eyes won't mind right? I miss a lot of things: warm hugs, friends bunched over the single samosa, light banter and gossip in the coffee room,  my kohl lined eyes, love and care from the loved ones, an attentive ear from the erstwhile confidant...but the thing I miss the most is the sound of my own laughter...I haven't guffawed in ages and don't remember the last time I laughed till I chocked...I still smile, yes the show man can't let down her guard can she, but haven't laughed till I snorted in ages...

Every time I've been low I watch this kid, he has always managed to cheer me up...today he made the lips curl upwards yes, but that was about it! The video only reminded me that I've grown up... I can no longer expect to be picked up and thrown up towards the sky by uncle, I can no longer expect to get a diary milk from auntie for getting a scratch on my knees after the fight with the bully next door, I can no longer expect mother to fuss over me when I have gud-gud in my stomach and father to come rescue me after I complain to him about the perv next door....

I grew up waaaay too early for my age and I miss having a normal childhood in so many ways that I can't even describe them...Everybody around me has these perennially long faces nowadays they are pulling me down with them but I can't be an island either... and I miss the fact that I can no longer make people laugh with me anymore...

 

P.S (Empathize if you must but don't sympathize, people. I hate it when anybody does that!!!) 
P.P.S (I heard a line yesterday which made me put this up: "If you drink your tears so much they will turn into poison, if you swallow your pain so much you will turn into venom")